Nisakine

How is it that silence is so sweet to you when it screams at me, threatening to tear me apart? As we lie together, you show your desire,  prove your passion. Yet as I lie alone, too often,  I begin to wonder if it was all a dream. I want to scream but hold my tongue,   waiting to hear your voice. A fool I was, thinking I could find someone to wake next to, to share life with. Thinking that I could find better. When it’s you who holds the key to my heart.  You who has what my soul craves. My mind whispers, calling me a whore who’s sold herself out. And no one is around to silence myself. Desire for you consumes me

So used to     having to breathe         through drowning emotions, I was choking on the air of freedom.     And the way          your angels entrance     my demons          into silence,     make me feel          like you could be     my Home.

Memory of Senses The sight… Of your butterfly knife dancing wickedly through your fingers The sound… Of your guitar singing hauntingly familiar in the air. The smell… Of your fragrant ganja as you exhale into the morning. The taste… Of mint gum in my mouth ‘cuz you knew I hated cigarettes. And the feel… Of your calloused fingers running over me, lighting me up. All this, a dream of a memory… or a memory of a dream?

She fell in love.    Just a young thing,    hardly knew what love was. So of course, when it was    earnestly returned,                she rejected it.     Believed it couldn’t be true. But it was and he was bitterly crushed. Over the next five years,    She tore her heart to pieces      over            and over                        and over            saying                      never again. But then,          she met another.      Another who captivated her. One so interesting she never hoped to meet. She told of her fears,    she did not wish to simply       give herself                   away                

How dare you accept me? I’m no good for you. How dare you want me? Nothing can I offer you. I have nothing you can’t gain yourself. Why do you keep me? No one has ever kept me. Why is it you for me? I want to keep you. But it is you who is more independent than I. You tell me it’s all right. That I’ve done nothing wrong. You say I can stay. That it’s not my fault. How would you know? But still you accept me. Still you keep me. You hold me, and you kiss me And you always, always, Leave me wanting more.

They always insisted that you would be the one to corrupt me.  (it wasn’t you) My personal poison. (my drug) … Perhaps they were right.  I see my sister and think of how I was at her age, a mere four years ago, an innocent, naïve, barely twenty something year old… I hardly recognize her.  (not my sister) The me that was. Granted, it could have been that the me that is me now, would have come to be inevitably. (not could’ve, would’ve) After all I never would have met you if I was still that same innocent, naïve, barely twenty something year old that I was four years ago.  (maybe it was the him bef

I would call you a heartless bastard. But I can’t. Not when every caress is thoughtfully planned. Not when you look at me with eyes that smolder with desire. Not when you constantly seek how to please me even as you take all I have to give and more. So how could I? It is because you live in your own world as long as we live apart and communication never seems to work both ways between the two of us. Yet I am already addicted to your attentions.  I desire them     every day,          every night,               every waking moment. But where are you?  Where am I in your thoughts?  Oh, if only I knew. Perhaps then I would not

I wish I never met you. No, not really. But I did not ask for this. To be in love.  Again. And wonder if it’s returned… Again. Thus it would have been easier if we never met. However, I never would have known the happiness you have brought to my life. So no, not really. I’m glad we met. I think I’m ready to love again. I want to love you. The question is, Would you love me too?

Imagine being raised in a boxed world. No dangers.  No risks. No adventures. No love. The world in which she was raised. Go to school. Then go home. Kill the hours until it’s time to go to school again. But don’t intrude on anyone else’s time. Alone. When she’s older, school is replaced by work. Go to work. Then go home. Kill the days until it’s time to work again. There’s no longer anyone else’s time to intrude upon. Still alone. Adopt two cats. She loves them but…  Maybe it’s only to avoid talking to the empty spaces in her apartment. To herself. Herself, who is so hateful. Who

He felt the moment she pulled away from him and sat up.  He'd been thinking about her actually so although he should have been, he wasn't sleeping.  Even with his back to her he could tell something was on her mind by the way he felt her pulling up her knees, most likely to rest her head on them and wrap her arms around her ankles as she often did when she was deep in thought.  He hoped it was nothing but knew better than to believe it. Was it his family again? He glances back subtly but her vacant amethyst eyes gave nothing away so he turns his head back to its side. They stay that way, her contemplating silen

So long as you furnish me with a window And a steel frame bed in a corner of a room I’ll endeavour to keep the pane transparent To give my eyes a crystal clear view of the moon Regardless of what phase you are going through Whether it be half, crescent, full, blue or new You have never once shown me your dark side But so many times I have shown mine to you But tranquillity can be seen on a clear night Tides roll through my veins as thoughts flood to my pen Of all the ancestors that have gone before me Who've had the same moon looking down over them So long as you furnish me with a window And a steel frame bed in a corner of a room Yo

Someone told me once,   That we measure life in years,   Minutes, seconds, hours and days.   Someone told me once,   That we measure life in stormy nights,   In all the times we’ve said goodbye.   Someone told me once,   That we measure life in pain and regrets,   In people who’ve passed away   In doors who’ve closed,   And in all the things we’ve forgotten   Someone told me once, That we measure life in breakups,   In scarred hearts,   In all the times we’ve cried until midnight.   Someone told me once,   That we measure life in loneliness, in darkness, And in all the harm we did to ourselves. Someone told me

We say we love flowers And their sweet aroma Yet we can spend hours Just picking them up We ask for their thoughts As we pick at their petals About if he loves me Or he loves me not And yet we still wonder Why nobody trusts When "I love you" is muttered But have we forgot? We kill what we love.  

Do you know what it feels like? To feel so socially awkward around people that you feel uncomfortable in your own skin, knowing that you don't fit in. And, you walk away... thinking that being alone will be better for you - but you're wrong. You just feel even more  alone; even more rejected from society; perhaps even sad, in some way. What do you do while waiting for someone? As you wait, and wait, and wait for them - hoping they'll come soon lest you seem like a loner walking aimlessly around, causing people to pity you. And your face gets hot, you start to sweat because they know - they know of how alone you are and they feel sorry for

You looked. I glanced. We met. I smiled. You smiled back. A sentence here. A metaphor there. A memory we both found beyond repair. I shared. You listened. You shared. I heard. You paused. And then I kissed you. We're happy. Fingers pressed skin. Then danced apart. I teased. You laughed. You joked. I grinned. Stairwells were dreamcatchers. Stars were destinies. Guitars became epiphanies. More words. More memories. More to admit. More to regret. You were damaged. I was broken. We're happy. You stopped smiling. I didn't laugh. Words began to go unspoken. Regrets emerged. Fingers didn't touch. Lips faltered. Stairwells were nightmare holders.

You're voice is stuck in my head Can't get it out Not with a song so sad If I could cry out my heart   In front of you I wouldn't for all that's left of my pride If you could talk to me I wonder What would you say..? Could you make me happy..? Or would I End up running away..? And there's no easy way To wonder about this, I would cry but I am out of tears I would tell you all my dreams and fears But I'm afraid I'll chaise you away… I would hold you close to me And shelter you from the misery But I'm a ghost Invisible and mute Tough I don't mind, I wouldn't be any good And there's no easy way To wond